ARE YOU SERIOUS, MINISTER?

You know what, I like Minister of Education Andrew Holness, M.P.
I really do. So far, most of his utterances in relation to his portfolio, have for me, been like a breath of fresh air. Especially in light of his predecessor, who despite the number of times I have been told of how bright she is, never ever struck me as such.

But for me, Minister Holness has been the one shining beacon in this 7-month-old JLP government. I know it's not yet a year, but can you tell that sometimes I feel like "we swap black dog fi monkey". So far the JLP have performed less than stellar and every single minister except Holness is currently at a 'C' average, but I'll write about that some other time, since this post is really about Minister Holness.

You see, he first started to impress me when he said that the former education policy - the Jamaican version of "No Child Left Behind"- where students who could not read and or were performing below grade average be promoted, was foolishness.

Then, he stepped up and spoke openly about the violence plaguing our schools, going so far as visiting affected institutions - something his predecessor would never have done.

Next, he said that the manner in which the Grade 4 reading test was being administered would be changed, and that he would be moving to make that exam into a national one, which would be used as a first certificate from school, a certificate of reading if you will.

And then he launched an investigation into how the much discussed P.J. Patterson $5 billion gift from the National Housing Trust (NHT) for Education Transformation was spent. Not that the Minister has to do much digging there, the money was all wasted.

So far, on all these counts he receives 'A' pluses from me, because it sounds like education is getting more than lip service, since for once the Minister is not approaching the issue with their head in the clouds.

So imagine my shock and awe at a boneheaded statement from the Minister. He says that he wants an investigation to be launched into Literature books with profanity! He wants these books to be removed because they are corrupting "young minds", or some crap like that.

What?!!!

Now, I remember some of the books he's speaking of. One of them, Becka Lamb by Jamaica Kincaid, was one of my favourites in C.X.C literature. It spoke to so many things that especially girls could relate to. How your adolescence turns your life upside down, the relationship between a girl and her mother, the feeling of ugliness that every child goes through - it was a beautifully written gripping tale that I think resonated even more with those of us who went to all girl high schools. But the Minister, would have this beautifully told tale of a young girl's coming of age, taken out of the system because it has profanity!

I was a literature buff, can't you tell? It and history were and still are my favourite subjects and from ever since I have nurtured dreams of one day writing a book. So, I feel passionate about it and hate when writer's words or intent are messed with anyway - I am a purist like that.
And honestly, I can't remember any profanity being in Becka Lamb. It's probably there, I certainly am not calling the Minister a liar, but so caught up was I in the story, the way in which it was being told, the effortless manner in which Kincaid used words to paint a vivid picture which for me leapt up off the sheets of paper, that I never noticed it/them, and certainly did not commit them to memory.

Plus, I doubt any form of profanity would have shocked my 14-year-old self. I certainly knew all of them by that age, having nearly been given some serious licks from my mother when at three years old I complied with her request to repeat the 'bad words' I had heard. And let's take time to note that 14 for me was more than a few years ago.

So does the Minister expect me to believe that he thinks profanity in literature books is going to affect today's youth? Minister, in case you haven't got the memo, today's "schooler's" are having sex and recording it via cellphone to share among their peers and anybody else who cares to see it. Minister, today's youth - male and female - will sell their bodies for a pair of sneakers, or a hot cell phone, or insert material good here. Minister, today's youth prefer to take to school in their backpacks, not books but the following items:- bleaching cream, shoe polish, mirror, jewelery, weed, knives and in some cases guns.

So I doubt that profanity in a literature book is gonna affect them much. Hell, before we start working on removing books from the system shouldn't we be trying to get the kids to pick them up in the first place?



P.S. And Minister since you seem so interested in profanity in literature books, should we expect that Shakespeare will be on the list of offending books since some of what he wrote was considered profanity back in his day? And seriously, shouldn't we be having a discussion on what makes a word "bad"? And Minister since you want to sterilize the books shouldn't you also check for the content in them since not all of them were promoting a puritanical value system? Just some food for thought Minister.

RESIGN...IMMEDIATELY!

They "didn't know".

That's what the Election Commission, formerly the Electoral Advisory Committee said yesterday. They, this august body of learned Jamaicans, which includes I must add, a prominent University Professor and a Judge, did not know that the man who has been serving as Director of Elections over the past 10 years, is ineligible for the position.

You see according to Jamaican law, you cannot sit on this important body, the Election Commission, if you have dual citizenship.

So, not one member of the Commission, none of them, and did I say that a judge and University Professor were among them, knew that you were ineligible to sit on the body if you had dual citizenship.

Funny though, that I figured that out just five minutes after reading the Act which governs the Election Commission. The Act, "The Representation of the People (Interim Electoral Reform) says it in black and white. After laying out how many members, and who is allowed to appoint members of the Commission, - ( I am sure they read that) - it says in section 2. 1. (f) "No person shall be a qualified to be a nominated member if he"... "is, by virtue of his own act, under any acknowledgement of allegiance, obedience or adherence to a foreign power or state".

Right there that's what it says, and guess what all I had to do was go to the Internet to find that!
And I am sure, by virtue of being members of the Commission, they all must have a copy of the Act, or can go to the Commission's office and get a copy of the Act.

I mean surely, the goodly judge must have a copy of the Act, after all he's a judge and aren't his rulings based on law? So shouldn't he have a copy of all the Laws of Jamaica?

And what about the University Professor, for god sakes he's the chairman of the board, surely, the chairman must know the Act.

But, this august body of learned men, which let's not forget includes a judge and a university professor, say they did not know that the Director of Elections could not hold dual citizenship.

I don't know, maybe I am alone on this one, but it bothers me that the body who ultimately holds true power in this country, since they oversee our elections, does not know the Act which governs them.

I don't know maybe that's just my typical type 'A' character, but I would know every single detail of that Act, and all other subsequent Acts which governs my body, better than my own name. But hey, maybe that's just me. I can be anal like that.

I wonder if I was in the Professor's class for example, if I could get away with answering one of his exam questions with a simple, "I didn't know"? Or maybe I could stand before our esteemed judge answering, say, a murder charge with, "I didn't know"?

Somehow I doubt I'd be so lucky. But since we now know that the Director of Elections is ineligible for the post, and since we now know that the very learned men -which let's all say it together, includes a University Professor and a Judge - have no knowledge of the act which governs them, I say let's force every last one of them to resign. Sorry gentlemen, but we didn't know is simply not good enough. And right now I don't know if any of you are suitable for the job.

SURVIVORS ARE WE!!!

Every once in a while this country reminds us of just how great it is. And that greatness was on display this week.

On Sunday, the island - well the southern coast of the island - was hit by Hurricane Dean. And as Dean passed, the worry was that come Monday, Jamaica would have been under a pile of rubble and sand, mangled steel and blocks. Debris and water.

But alas, come Monday, the true situation revealed itself. And for many of us our only complaint was that water still seeped through our windows. A few trees were down, we had no light or water and the fridge reeked.
For some of us Hurricane Dean also meant a day off from work so there was time to survey the damage.

And still for others, the proud among us, it was time to clean up. Time to pick up the pieces. Many were seen throughout their communities, cutting up trees, some that had fallen across the roadways, sweeping up rubble. It was not time to wait on the National Solid Waste Management Authority- the able bodied put themselves to work and work they did.

It was also time to check on the neighbours and there were many on whom Dean took a heavy toll. Hundreds of people on the south coast of the island, including Caribbean Terrace and Harbour View in St. Andrew, Portland Cottage in Clarendon, South Field in St. Elizabeth felt the full brunt of the wind and waves.
But despite losing home and property it was time to begin the process of starting over again because we are survivors.
This wasn't the first and it certainly won't be the last storm to hit Jamaica and as a nation, we've been the poster child for weathering every possible type of storm. Jamaica likkle but wi people tallawah. As usual when put to the test the majority of Jamaicans produced award winning performance.

And since Anansi feels like handing out awards, let's give one to the island's light and power company - the Jamaica Public Service (JPS). When in this country's history has there been a hurricane of any type and some customers get reconnected in less than 24 hours. By day three after the hurricane JPS had turned on the lights for almost 40 per cent of its customers, and this despite saying that damage to its lines by Hurricane Dean was worse than that caused by Hurricane Ivan.

Water Commission too - they've been busy piping water back to homes. Yes, NWC you get an award too. Getting water back to 80 per cent of your customers in four days. Good work.

And yes, Anansi had proclaimed doom and gloom. Anansi had visions of Katrina-like behaviour from many residents - but all this was prevented by very necessary State of Emergency imposed by the G.G.! Hence what could have become a potentially volatile situation - in many ways more damaging than Hurricane Dean - was avoided. For once, Portia did something right! Portia you get a badge of merit for doing what was right, despite those naysayers who will use any opportunity to politic. Maybe, just maybe, their might be hope for you yet!
Since we're giving out awards, let's hand out some bricks to those who still can't get right.

Digicel - Hurricane Ivan unnu pap dung. Hurricane Dean unnu pap dung. Anansi thought you were the "bigger better" network. Sorry, but I'll stick with "the true owners of the yard" - Cable and Wireless.

Di Damn Tief dem - How unnu fi a bruk inna people house inna di height of storm? Unnu should a drown, get electrocuted and di earth shoulda open up and swallow unnu. Unnu ole wukliss good fi nutten cruff unnu.

Wukliss Politrickician - Di storm was Sunday, and come Monday unnu a complain seh relief effort too slow. Anansi not calling no names, but here are two words fi unnu "New Orleans" and if unnu still nuh get it "Hurricane Katrina". Some times, people must engage their brains before their mouths start to move. Unnu mus get several bricks.

Anyway, since the country is getting back to normal - when's the election?

PS: Was it just Anansi, or did it seem a little more than just distasteful to be hearing political ads during the height of the onslaught of Dean. Imagine, Anansi is glued to the radio, and during every other ad break all that was heard was "me and me neighbour voting for Labour"!!! Like who really gave a ....

Democracy Missing, feared dead - Jamaica

Crime Reports

THE CONSTABULARY COMMUNICATIONS NETWORK. CCN

The Constabulary Communications Network (CCN) liaison officer for Kingston reports that Democracy, a long standing resident has gone missing and feared dead.

Reports reaching the CCN are that on October 18, the Jamaica Observer newspaper published a photograph of the Prime Minister Portia Simpson Miller doodling while the opposition, Jamaica Labour Party presented its no confidence motion against her government in Parliament.

In an obvious response to the slight created by the publication of the photograph, a move was made to further bar journalists from sections of Gordon House, by erecting and locking a door between the press box and the Hansard section. It is believed the offending photograph was taken from the Hansard section.

Since then attempts by the Opposition and media representatives to have a discussion on the new restrictions in parliament have failed to materialize, and Democracy has not been seen since.

The CCN understands that this is not the first time an attempt has been made on Democracy’s life by this government.

Reports are that in 2004, Democracy’s life was threatened when movement restrictions were placed on the media in Gordon House. Witnesses said that after the contentious vote in Parliament, when Portia Simpson Miller broke ranks with the government and refused to vote on the issue of granting more money to the fire service, members of the media heard when then minister of Foreign Affairs, KD Knight launched into a profanity laced tirade at Simpson Miller. The media witnesses reported the matter and were subsequently barred from areas of Parliament where the government assembled.

The police are looking at Prime Minister Simpson Miller and Speaker of the House Michael Peart as persons of interest into the investigation on Democracy’s disappearance.

If anybody has any information regarding Democracy’s whereabouts please contact your nearest polling station. A reward of change of government will be given to those whose information helps in locating Democracy.

Who Pays The Piper?

"The Jamaica Labour Party (JLP) set off a firestorm on Tuesday with the headline grabbing allegation that the PNP had accepted a donation of more than $30 million from the oil trading company Trafigura."

Source: www.radiojamaica.com


So this whole thing is really about party campaign financing. How the politicians get their money to launch lavish political campaigns and even more lavish political conferences and thus ultimately gain power.

In the Jamaican political financing game, the ruling PNP seem to be a ways ahead what with $30 million ($441,176 US) from the oil company that also has an oil trading arrangement with the Government!

Imagine if every company that has a contract with Jamaica gives $30 million to the PNP...damn that would probably make the PNP the single richest entity in the country!

And well that would make the JLP certain of yet another election loss. Remember that four and six record we spoke of yesterday? Well that would quickly become five and seven!

So the JLP has blown the whistle! And the PNP's response is basically "'bite me' we've done nothing wrong."


And unfortunately, they're not wrong!

You see J.A has been discussing campaign financing since independence. It came to a head in the tumultuos '70's, when the JLP accused the PNP of going communist and getting help from communist countries. While the PNP accused the JLP of getting assistance from the U.S.

The then leaders of the parties, Michael Manley (PNP) and Edward Seaga (JLP) never came to any decision on the matter. The former is dead and the latter has retired from active politics.

And today, almost 30 years later we're still discussing this!

The issues are quite simply:
1) who is allowed to give money to a political party?
2) should political party financing be a strict responsibility of the state?
3) is it time for a decided on code of ethics for political parties?

Three questions with a variety of opinions, and opinions which change depending on who's in power!

If this were a JLP government with Bruce Golding at the helm, would he turn down 30 million dollars from a company that does business with his government? And how would the PNP react?

Rumble in the Jungle

I love a good fight! I really do! I like it when both fighters are equally matched in brawn, skill and wit. Like the 'Rumble in the Jungle' that was Muhammad Ali and George Foreman (October 30, 1974). Love it! Love it! Love it!

So some 32 years later, we have 'Rumble in the Jungle: Part Deux'
raging in JA.

Over in the orange corner: we have the PNP with a record of six wins (the last four of which were consecutive knockouts) and four losses at the National polls since independence...they are fighting to retain power and head towards their 25th anniversary of being in power.

And over in the green corner: we have the JLP whose four wins and six loss streak has made them the constant loser of an electoral battle. The last time, they saw Jamaica House, the Berlin Wall was still standing, the Cold War hadn't ended, and Osama was fighting the Russians in Afghanistan! So for them this is a must win battle!

Sounds like the makings of a good fight on paper right?

So why does it suck so much in reality?

The JLP leader, Bruce Golding, was shooting off at the mouth again yesterday that he has proof that members of cabinet, most notably Ministers Phillip Paulwell and Colin Campbell were getting kickbacks from a Nigerian oil company.

Well, as Mr. Golding has done before, he put the cart before the horse or mule (since they can't really afford a horse) and called a wrong name! Ahhh, he has been there before hasn't he. He's made erroneous statements about former P.M. P.J. Patterson and he did implicate, well, name another high ranking civil servant in some shady shenanigans, last year September. He had to back pedal on that one quickly!

And now Minister Paulwell, says enough!!!

"He has besmirched my character, impugned my integrity and blighted my good name! I am suing the bastard."

( Despite seeing the above in quotes, Anansi cannot verify that this is actually what the Minister said, since we weren't there and well he didn't talk to us!!! You get the drift)

But anyway, Paulwell is serious, he says he'll see Golding in court!!! The irony here of course is, a good many people would say, Paulwell has no good name to blight, no integrity to impugne and certainly no high character to besmirch!

And for reference look at the ongoing Carib Cement saga, the Netserv debackle and oh the fact that a former wife of his had to cut and run after four months of wedded bliss (please note sarcasm) and a five million dollar lavish nuptial!!!

But, unfortunately, Mssr. Golding is known for shooting off at the mouth or rather cumming too quick!!! Don't they have drugs for that? And, now if this matter does go to court, he just could lose and lose badly!!!

Looks like the PNP gets this one again!!!! And to think, Anansi had the Red Stripe well chilled, and the pop-corn popped, and the phone in hand to call Pizza Hut (all the necessities for fight night)!

MAN OH MAN!!!!

"Yes now Spanish Town" Remember that from Primary school days (big up to Shortwood)!

Anyway it seems that the ruling PNP are in a spot of trouble this evening. This after Opposition leader, and President of the JLP, Bruce Golding has revealed some damning information that Minister of Industry, Science and Technology (with Energy) {like can his portfolio get any longer}, Hon. Phillip Paulwell and Minister of Information and Development, Senator, the Hon. Colin Campbell have been receiving kick backs from a Nigerian oil company.

Word is, the Leader of the Opposition, has the cheques to prove said kick backs.

So if the Leader of the Opposition is to be believed members of the PNP, most notably high ranking government members are CORRUPT!!!!

And if the Leader of the Opposition is to be believed, then Prime Minister, the Right Hon. Portia Lucretia Simpson-Miller, might just become the first Jamaican Prime Minister in sixteen years to have to fire a government minister or two.

And if one chooses to believe the Leader of the Opposition, Portia also needs to start looking for two new ministers, while the DPP (Director of Public Prosecutions) has some investigations to commence!

And if the Leader of the Opposition is to be believed, the JLP just might be out of the wilderness as they might have finally fired the salvo to sink the PNP battleship!!!

Of course this is all if YOU believe the Leader of the Opposition, and really why would he lie about something like that????

Afterall, its not like the PNP are known for being involved in any kind of corruption. And the two ministers named by the Leader of Opposition are good, solid government officials whose names have never ever been whispered in any kind of scandal!

But as I say, that's if you choose to believe the Leader of the Opposition!