MATTER OF INTERPRETATION

You know I had sworn that I would not comment on this unfolding Cuban light bulb scandal, because as I had said in one of my earlier posts, it was really nothing more than yet another PNP scandal, of which there are never really any consequences.

Then the former Minister of State in the Ministry of Industry, Technology and Commerce, Kern Spencer M.P. went bawling in Parliament. Well you know that one wasn't gonna be passing me by.

Who'd have thunk it - a bawling politician? And is not a funeral? Backside!

No wonder the rain cyaan stop falling in Jamaica. People, people expect rain for another 40 days and 40 nights, because the time is near, the rapture is upon us as Judgement Day draws nigh. All who nuh right wid unnu God find unnu way to church now.

But seriously folks "di big big", - as my mother would say - "horse tearing man" broke out into tears as the current Minister with portfolio responsibility delved even deeper into that boiling cauldron that is the Cuban light bulb saga.

In defense of his fit of tears, or to hijack a phrase from his Party Chairman his "time of the month" emotions, Kern says he broke into crying because, "I really wanted an opportunity to correct some of the inadequacies I heard coming forward and I was advised not to in light of the investigation taking place. I became real emotional because I could not just sit there and hear a number of inaccuracies coming out and I wanted an opportunity to put a number of facts on the table and I was prevented from doing so".

Wow! Now, I don't know where to begin with this one, because, methinks 'Mr. Bawly Bawly' might just have made things worse. First of all, the only thing INADEQUATE here Kern is you, as you demonstrated for the world when the tears started to flow! And on a point of language, I am sure the word you were looking for was INACCURATE!

But you know what, it's all a matter of interpretation as we have seen many times before. And clearly in Jamaican politics one man's scandal is another man's mix-up.

Remember NetServ? Of course you do. Same Ministry of Industry Technology and Commerce headed by then Minister, Philip Paulwell. So Paulwell gave (he says loaned) Jamaican tax payers money, some $180 Million, to this company NetServ, which was in turn going to use said money to establish call centres and create somewhere between 3,000 to 10,000 jobs. Long story short - it never happened. NetServ went belly up and the money vanished like Britney Spears' drawers. Well, while many Jamaicans were calling for Paulwell's head - then Prime Minister PJ Patterson termed what happened as "youthful exuberance" on the part of the then Minister. See, a matter of interpretation.

Then we had an issue at the National Solid Waste Management Authority (NSWMA) where some 2 billion dollars was, well, misappropriated through several convoluted and entangled deals with the devil and his father. To date we don't know the full story about that one, and the man who was then charged with running the NSWMA was at one point on a law suit spree. That one was not anybody's fault, either. Once again a matter of interpretation.

So, now we're back at Kern. He already put forward his interpretation. According to him, he did not break down into tears because he was guilty of anything! It was because of the misinformation that was being put out there.

Well here's my interpretation. When I was a child and I used to do bad stuff, and my parents would 'collar' me about it, I would bust out into tears. The reason for the tears were two-fold, one for the beating that I was sure to get from Mommy and two I really never wanted to let down my parents.

So back to Kern. Kern cried because the images of Tamarind Farm started to flash before his eyes, the sound of his political career being flushed down the toilet was echoing in his ears and of course the prophetic words of those who of knew him at UWI that he would end up in prison one day because of his relationship with money started to haunt him. And that is my interpretation of why Kern started to cry.

PS: You know who should have been in Parliament when Kern started bawling - KD Knight. I can just see it now K.D would walk over to Kern and say " what you crying fah boy? Man up, stuff out you chest, tek it like a man. Acting like a real likkle gyal pickney. Big man don't cry and we worse nuh cry pon t.v. Jesus man, even Portia never cry when me tell har bad wud inna Parliament couple years ago. Maxine come slap some sense into him fi me nuh."